Viewer Mail
She writes:
Emil, is this true?
A very direct email from the woman who once abbreviated a label for Crystal Lite Iced Tea.
My reply, slightly more wordy:
Yes, but not all the time. Take the battery and turn it on its side. Put is half way over the edge of a table, so the bottom is hanging over the edge. If it falls off, it's filled with AA batteries.
If it balances, it's filled with these:
Note: The AA batteries inside are NOT very high capacity. They will not work well in cameras or flashnights. But they'll work GREAT in remote controls and things like that...
Booble
Me neither.
What's a Ferrari?
Father: That's right, but why do you ask?
Son: I think there's one trying to pass us on the right.
Frankfurt Auto Show Wrap Up
Today, thanks in large part to folks like Weblogs, Inc. and Gawker Media we've got almost-real-time coverage (if you can keep up -- which is VERY hard) from folks like Jalopnik. They did a great job of covering the show, so check them out at:
http://jalopnik.com/cars/frankfurt-auto-show/
Of course, if you want everything digested for you in a short video, you know for those of us that like cars but aren't huge nerds, you have Fast Lane Daily:
http://www.fastlanedaily.com
However you experienced the Frankfurt show, here's some more indepth commentary that I thought you all would like to hear...
First off, the F430 Scuderia. The car is spectacular. I want one. Badly. It's not much of a surprise, since all of it's trickery in weight savings has been seen before in the Stradale, and most of the carbon fiber bits have been available as options in the 2007 cars... but when you see it all together, it's a flawless package. The redesigned front fascia and rear diffuser & bumper gives it a wonderfully purposeful look. The interior is ALL business even eliminating the glove box. Radio delete is killer and the center console with it's added button for suspension firmness is no joke. Lack of 'normal' mode on the Mannetino further indicates the purpose of this car, and the surprisingly comfortable sport seats seats -- that I'm hearing will make it to the US market -- further communicate the need for speed. The flared intakes, side skirt and deck lid subtly accentuate the added grunt of the 500+ horsepower engine. Oh, and the stripes are painted, not clear-coated vinyl. At least they were on these cars -- which were clearly unlabeled preproduction cars. We'll see what the final models have. All in all, it's a wonderful evolution of the F430 and given the special tuning by Schumacher himself... It's sure to perform as good as it looks.
Next, on the cavalcade of Italian goodness is the Fiat 500. I saw a few of these on the road south of Rome last week and they are cute as hell. With 100 horsepower, I won't be picking one up for highway driving, but as a kick around car in Venice... I'm in! Fiat, as well as Alfa Romeo, were in high gear showing a lot of very cool hardware including a slightly updated Spider, Brera and the return of the Abarth Scorpion.
I cannot wait for these folks to get back to the US market.
Maserati was out in force, garnering a ton of attention with it's beautifully designed GranTurismo. I'm a huge fan of this car. I think it brings some of the raw-strength of the MC12 design to model production while creating its own beauty from the gorgeous lines of the coupe body shape. Lots of Quattroporte's were on hand, too, showcasing how far this range has come. For anyone who has NOT had an opportunity to drive the Quattroporte automatic, I'd highly suggest taking the time to do so... You'll never buy another Mercedes again.
While BMW and Mercedes were boring the crap out of me with their environmentally friendly bullshit (I don't commute in a car. I take a train in NY and ride a bike in LA, so I'm greener than most of you so I can be a punk about this.) Audi was happy to stick it to Mother Earth with a suite of fossil-fuel burning A4s. No S4 or RS4 yet... but the new A4 is really, truly, beautiful. It seems to address every minor complaint I have with my RS4 from a design point of view... and I can only hope it drives as good as it looks. More on that soon.
Of course, eventhough BMW was touting their Hybrid X6 masturbatory exercise, they did have the new M3 on hand. In the back. It's really a gorgeous car. They definately did this one right. The hood bulge, aggressive stance, and revised front fascia let you know that this M3 is ALL business. Rumour has it that the CSL version of the M3 is headed to the US... But my German is bad, she could have been telling me to take my hand off her ass. I'm not sure.
(I'll still wait for the RS4... or RS5...)
I spent a LOT of time staring at the GT2. You know what? I'm not feeling it. I'm sure it's a spectacular car with stunning performance numbers, but something about it... just didn't seem to fit right. The rear bumper looks fine. It was actually a tad invisible on the silver car, and looked nice on the red car. I don't know what my problem was with that car, but... I just was not in to it. Oh, and not to be outdone by BMW's green and Mercedes-Benz blue, Porsche was parading around a photo of a young Ferdinand Porsche driving the worlds first hybrid. That he invented and built. In Germany. When he was 25. Cool, but who cares? Go racing and then we can talk about whatever you want... Including the Panamera (Which was NOT present at the show).
Of course, there were lots of goodies from other manufacturers that will never see the light of day on these shores. Skoda, Nissan, Lancia, Citroen, Peugeot, Volkswagen, Renault, and even Ford have some pretty cool ROW cars. For example, the Ford Focus in Europe is a hell of a car. Like, seriously. So much more stylish and comfortable than the US Focus. It's got a much more sporty look, too, taking some design direction from Opel and Holden... Go figure. Of course, not all the ROW cars are cool. Daihatsu, Lada, Chery, Brilliance, and Ssang Yang, to name a few, had a lot of pieces of crap littering their booths. Actually, that's not entirely fair. The Brilliance BC3 looks like it might be the first fun to drive car from China, and the Ssang Yang "New Chairman"... It's called the "New Chairman". What else do you need to know?
Speaking of Asian craziness, the Evo X concept is shockingly cool looking. It's got some gorgeous lines, a really well designed interior, and a very mean look. The LED lights and the show paint help draw your attention to the cutting edge future that this car represents. If it drives half as good as it looks... I may no longer have anything to make fun of Shivam for. But make no mistake about it: This car is an EXTREME departure from the existing Lancer/Evo combination. Of course, not to be outdone, Subaru was there with their WRC Concept. While it looked bad ass, I'd rather drive a "New Chairman". I love the back-and-forth battle with these guys and hope that the war continues for many years to come!
Not much to report on the SUV front, but TONs of wagons. Mazda 6 Wagon, Accord Wagon, M5 Wagon, RS6 Avant (Wagon), Lancer Wagon... Lots and lots of wagons. With lots and lots of 2 and 3 litre diesel powerplant options. I drove from Rome up to Frankfurt in an A4 Avant with a 2.0 Litre Diesel. It took about 10 minutes (Seriously), but that car could hit 140mph.
I spent some time in the DBS. THAT is gonna change the game at Aston. If ProDrive can keep the build quality up, that car will be spectacular. It's the most luxurious, well built, and gorgeous car Aston has built in a LONG time. It's also huge. Like big. I cannot wait to get some seat time in this beauty. Aston had a VERY metallic black DBS on display in the back of their crap-tacular booth. (Seriously, their booth is about as pretty as the parking garage on 62nd Street.) The black hides much of the subtle design of the car, but it did look great in black. I cannot wait to see how these things hold up to use... and market value.
Finally, I come to the Reventon. Keep in mind that everything you are about to read comes from a Lamborghini fan. I've owned 2 Gallardos that I give very high praise to. Some of the best cars I've ever owned, and most fun. I'd love to some day own an LP640 Roadster. I think that Luc Donckerwolke, former head of design for Lamborghini who penned the Murcielago and Gallardo, is a genius. But he's at Seat now, obviously, because the Reventon is an abortion. Seriously, this thing is the ugliest, biggest scam in the automotive industry. There's no redeeming value in it's presence. It was clearly created as a stop-gap for any real evolution in the product line, and a device to extract money from the ignorant. It's literally a Murcielago with a body kit. An ugly body kit. That looks like it was designed by HR Giger's blind, retarted, third cousin who puked in to a fountain pen and mailed it to the monkey house at the Bronx zoo. (I like HR Giger's work, by the way - http://www.hrgiger.com ) There's nothing special about the car. In any way, shape, or form. Anyone who buys one is a pawn of Volkswagen. And, it is my belief that Stephan Winkelmann will some day be tried in Italy for crimes against humanity. For the cost of a Reventon, you could get so many better and more special cars including:
- Ferrari Enzo (in black)
- Maserati MC12 (With NHTSA/Federalization from Classic Coach)
- Pagani Zonda LM
- 2 Koenisegg CCX's
- 40 Evos covered in gold leaf...
You get the idea.
So that's all from Germany. I'll post a few pics below, but thanks to the evolution of media, you can find pics of most anything I mentioned in Fast Lane Daily. Or Jalopnik. Or Google.
CLK DTM
Black Aston Martin DBS
Ferrari 599 in Heritage Colors
The World's First Hybrid
Trying not to vomit on the Reventon
1, please!
Revised Mannetino
"Do you come with the car?"
F430 Scuderia
Welcome Olivia Newton Jane
Muller
• Crying
• Sleepless nights (but not too many)
• Dirty diapers
• Occasional puking
• Predisposition to liking Pizza (Odd, I know.)
• Not seeing Jay or Stefana for a long, long time...
The Italian Sun
After a long, wonderful day of sight seeing, cave swimming, and shopping we hopped in the boat and headed home to Furore for dinner. We made it just in time to beat an unseasonably strong thunder storm.
Here's the sunset that shows the sky turning on us...
For more pics from Italy, check out my Flickr.
Top Ten Things I Learned in Italy
For me, it never really made sense.
First of all, from the earliest of ages in the secular Christian
schools we attended (which I'm not complaining about), we were not
really allowed to talk about our differences. We were focused on
our similarities and the things that joined us all in the
brotherhood of man. We did not celebrate our diversity. I think all
of that homogenization of culture was a side effect of really
focusing on race equality, which we learned in the form of
tolerance. But shouldn't that have been acceptance? Second, no one
from our family would brave the 9 hour flight from JFK to...
anywhere on the other side of the Atlantic. Italy is not Mars. You
can go there. Rather easily. So if we're not gonna make the effort
to go have a look around and experience it first hand it cannot be
that important. Third, there's really no data on what thing were
like for the family back in the old country. At least not that I
have access to. And if they hopped on a boat to leave, things could
not have been all that great. So why are we remembering hardships
with fondness? Next, how come the family construct does not
reiterate what we learned in school? Shouldn't we be proud to be
Americans like so many country & western crooners suggest?
Finally, the manifestation of Italian culture in the United States
has lead to some really ridiculous things. Things that I see no
sign of here. Which pleases me to no end. So, as you can see,
nationalization and heritage for me has been the clouded by many
mixed signals.
Whatever.
In any event, I've realised during this
most recent trip to Italy, several things about Italy that I wish I
learned sooner. Allow me to share them here with you:
10: Slow Down. Getting there is half the fun, so
take your time. If you need your coffee to go, you're doing it
wrong. If a 3 hour meal is a problem, you're with the wrong people
or your priorities are off-balance. True, these are the same people
that bring some of the fastest cars in the world, but that didn't
come by not taking time to stop and enjoy all the small moments of
life.
9: There are no Green White and Red mylar
anything. I hate going to Little Italy. Only because of
the gaudy and tacky American-designed Italian iconography. In
America, when you think of Italian design you think of expensive
clothes and cheap Green White and Red banners, streamers, and
stickers shaped like "the boot". I'm pleased to say that none of
that iconography exists in Italy and you're quickly reminded of
classical architecture, contemporary design, sculpture, leather,
marble, and God.
8: Happiness is not being Italian. Happiness is
being. Sit down. Enjoy your figs. Take comfort in the rain. Engulf
the vista. Don't stress that the boat is late. If you don't do it
today, you can do it tomorrow. Have a coffee. Don't worry about it.
Experience your passion. Learn your art. Craft your mind and your
soul. Work hard. Live richly. But do it all to be happy.
7: The letter 'R' really is missing. One of the
few things that I dislike about being New York is the way we speak.
Well, the way some of us speak. In italy, just like New York, they
tend to omit the letter R from words unless it's really, really
important... and then it's the focus of the whole word. It's odd,
but you'll know wnat I'm talking about when you experience
it...
6: Seafood is ok. I'm not one to order fish at an
Italian restaurant. It just doesn't work well in the United
States... at least in the butter-infused, red-sauce-laden.
franchese-based places I used to frequent as "Italian cuisine".
(That was before I met Noto). After this trip, I cannot imagine
eating anything but the most amazing seafood from Italian
restaurants.
5: Italy is not really a country. I mean, it is
technically, but the regions are so individualized that not even
food means the same thing from place to place. Bolognese in Bologna
is very different than Bolognese in Naples. Go to a bunch of
different places and get some pizza, You'll really be surprised at
just how different things can be from place to place... (This is
not just limited to food. It also applies to traffic laws,
television, signs, shoe sizes, prices... everything.)
4: Masonry is important. I have a few friends in
New York who are Masons. They talk alot about practicing the craft.
When you look around the country from big cities like Rome, Genoa,
and Naples to small towns like Capri, Furore, and Praiano, you see
the sheer power of the masons of old. And what they must have meant
to the generations that came before.
3: Listening skills are overrated. I used to think
that it was my parents that didn't listen. Then, I thought it
applied to my whole family. Then, I figured it was all Italians.
And you know what? I'm wrong. It's not that people don't listen,
it's that they want you to have better for yourself. "Do you want
one of these figs?" someone might ask. "No thanks." you might say,
having already eaten 2. "Here, take..." will be the reply. Not
because they're not listening, but because they want better for you
than you want for yourself. Or that would be the theory.
2: The "P" word: Passion. It's all about passion.
Ferrari spends a lot of time talking about passion and you can see
it in what they do. In Italy, if you're going to do something, you
better be passionate about it and if you have no passion for
something, don't do it. Passion is present almost everywhere in
Italy. You can see it everywhere, and when it's not... you really
see it.
1: Italian Drivers Do It Right. I've been to a few
places across the globe and seen some pretty screwed up traffic
scenarios and interesting driving conditions. In Italy, they do it
right. Follow these rules and you'll drive like a pro in Italy: 1)
What's behind you is not important. 2) The pedestrians will move
out of your way. 3) If it's bigger than you, it has the right of
way. 4) Be mindful of restaurants in the right lane. (No really. In
Positano, the right lane of the low-road has a RESTAURANT in
it.)
Next Stop: Praiano
I uploaded a few photos to Flickr, so go check them out.
Next stop, Praiano...
